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  • Taking a shower

    Got this in an email from one of my friends.

    How To Shower Like a Woman:

    -Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
    -Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
    -If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    -Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
    -Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah wide loofah and pumice stone.
    -Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    -Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
    -Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
    -Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
    -Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
    -Rinse conditioner off hair.
    -Shave armpits and legs.
    -Turn off shower.
    -Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
    -Spray mold spots with Tilex.
    -Get out of shower.
    -Dry with towel the size of a small country.
    -Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
    -Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
    -If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    How To Shower Like a Man:

    -Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
    -Walk naked to the bathroom.
    -If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
    -Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
    -Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
    -Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
    -Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
    -Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
    -Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
    -Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
    -Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
    -Rinse off and get out of shower.
    -Partially dry off.
    -Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
    -Admire wiener size in mirror again.
    -Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
    -Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
    -If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
    -Throw wet towel on bed.
    -Then fart one more time.

  • #2
    Ok that's just plain scary, how do you know what I do in the shower??
    400 gallon reef, Bubble King 300, I~Spin, 2 x 10,000K BLV 400W, 2 x 20,000K Radium 400W, 2 x 6,400K Osram 400W, Schuran Jetstream 1, AquaController Pro

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Orion76
      Ok that's just plain scary, how do you know what I do in the shower??

      Jeff told me

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      • #4
        That is just too funny
        Dustin

        "Water is the driving force of all nature"
        Leonardo da Vinci

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        • #5
          Jeff..... WOOOO WOOOOOO!!!
          400 gallon reef, Bubble King 300, I~Spin, 2 x 10,000K BLV 400W, 2 x 20,000K Radium 400W, 2 x 6,400K Osram 400W, Schuran Jetstream 1, AquaController Pro

          Comment


          • #6
            Thats funny
            Sean

            Tank Specs:60g Cube SPS/Clam tank, ASM G1x Skimmer, DIY ZEOvit Reactor, 1x400w EVC 14k, Marine Life Aquatics CR-250 CaRx (RIP)

            Not sure yet.....Build Thread to come!

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            • #7
              Bob
              "There might be something to this ZEOvit"

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by scottw
                Jeff told me
                You got a small wiener too AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by gqjeff
                  You got a small wiener too AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
                  Hey at least I don't wash my face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red and then wash entire rest of my body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash

                  Woo-woo!
                  400 gallon reef, Bubble King 300, I~Spin, 2 x 10,000K BLV 400W, 2 x 20,000K Radium 400W, 2 x 6,400K Osram 400W, Schuran Jetstream 1, AquaController Pro

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Orion76
                    Hey at least I don't wash my face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red and then wash entire rest of my body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash

                    Woo-woo!
                    That's funny...

                    Those things in the shower I claim are...
                    • 1 bar of soap
                    • 1 razor that's been in the shower for at least 6 months
                    • 1 bottle shampoo

                    Barbara on the other hand can claim from 18-24 different bottles of stauff at any given time.

                    SteveU
                    “People are very open-minded about new things - as long as they're exactly like the old ones.”
                    ...Charles F. Kettering

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                    • #11
                      It's not called a weiner, its called a Peter.
                      Proud owner of an Elegance Coral "that lived". (It is thriving whith long tentacle tips...purchased in January 2005.) It has white tentacle tips, I beleive this has something to do with ones that will typically live due to the collection site.

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                      • #12
                        Yeah, Steve, Cath's the same way with all those bottles & they're always dropping down on our feet Bob
                        "There might be something to this ZEOvit"

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                        • #13
                          Yes Bob and after 23 years I still keep my mouth shut about it.

                          SteveU
                          “People are very open-minded about new things - as long as they're exactly like the old ones.”
                          ...Charles F. Kettering

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Adam
                            It's not called a weiner, its called a Peter.
                            Mine is called a Jumbo
                            400 gallon reef, Bubble King 300, I~Spin, 2 x 10,000K BLV 400W, 2 x 20,000K Radium 400W, 2 x 6,400K Osram 400W, Schuran Jetstream 1, AquaController Pro

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Orion76
                              Mine is called a Jumbo
                              Jumbo shrimp maybe

                              It's so true, now try taking a romantic shower with a woman...

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